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8 Things I want to tell my future children….

Sataye huey students

8 Things I want to tell my future children….

8 Things I want to tell my future children….

Isn’t it funny that we live in a society where we, as students, are expected to rise to the strangest and most peculiar expectations regarding ‘success’ and ‘achievement’? 

As kids and even as young adults, is the thought not drilled into our heads that success, and that too quick success, in every stage of life is better?

I personally believe educational success has become nothing but a rat race nowadays. Although I’m not a parent and I’m not even married yet, but after observing numerous parents all around me, I feel that most of them think that if their child is not blossoming as fast as others in school, he/she will have a difficult time to find his/her calling in life.

Yes, every parent wants to and has the right to feel proud of their child when they achieve a milestone.  But what if the said accomplishment is at the cost of the child feeling self-rejection or low self esteem?

Why can’t parents feel proud of their children for WHO they are as human beings rather than WHAT they have accomplished?

I do hope I don’t raise my kids this way; in fact, I hope that when I become a parent, I’m able to move beyond this race for accomplishments and honours and tell them something meaningful.

So, here are some things I’d want to say to my future child (if I ever have one):

  1. If you’re an average child or a late bloomer…

For me you’ll always be working to the best of your ability (of course, if you don’t do that, it will bring out the monster in me!)

homework

Image source: www.ffp-pakistan.org

2. If you know which career you want to pursue…

You’re free to do so, my happiness is in your happiness. Forcing you to do something is unfair to you and my expectations should be with myself rather than with those around me (especially my children).

career

Image source: https://www.samaa.tv

3. If you fail Math, Science or English…

It doesn’t matter; what matters to me is that you TRIED. I will appreciate your efforts regardless of the results because one day you will find your calling and achieve what you deserve.

fail math

Image source: http://poster.4teachers.org

4. If you end up doing your A-Level at 20 or 21 years or not at all…

It doesn’t matter as long as you understand and love what you learn. I realise that a standardised test cannot determine your future or success. I would love to see you working hard for that ‘A’ grade, but if you don’t achieve it, I won’t let it stress you out. Your mental health is more important to me than a paper with a letter in red or blue on it.

late graduate

Image source: https://www.cnbc.com

5. If you’re a boy and lack numerical skills…

So what? Your mind might be filled with colours, hues and palettes and your hands might have the magic to show your creativity!

artistic boy

Image source: https://www.pinterest.com

6. If your gender doesn’t let you become a Chef or a Chartered Accountant…

I won’t let the society and its gender biases demoralise you if you want to fly high!

gender bias

Image source: https://www.thoughtco.com

7. If you’re a sensitive child…

I’d love to keep you safe, protect you from the world and teach you self-acceptance until you’re ready to face the world because being sensitive or blooming late doesn’t make you any less smart. It just makes you more patient, more empathic and a better person.

sensitive child

Image source: http://images.dawn.com

8. If you are compared to your siblings, friends, peers and cousins…

I will tell you AND them that all five fingers are not of the same length but each has its own purpose. You are your own person, you have your own passions, you will polish your own talent…because you are YOUR OWN competition!

comparing kids

Image source: https://aptparenting.com

I understand that a person thinks very differently when he/she is not a parent and the pattern of thinking can change (sometimes vastly) when one becomes a parent himself. But I do believe we all need to be kinder to children today – lay off the pressures, give them their due space and respect. The current generation might not be able to do that but we – who are the children of today and the parents of the future – can play our part in being kinder to our own children.

As they say, “Know better, do better”.

A lipstick fanatic, I love what I do and do what I love!

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