Motherhood – the more you think you know, the more there is to learn!
No ride in the world can be as full of ups and downs, as exciting and as unpredictable as the rollercoaster of motherhood. It can bring joy and sadness, sometimes simultaneously, and with such force that one is simply left overwhelmed and awed.
Fifteen years into motherhood and I have encountered these wild motions so many times; yet, I fail to describe or even name them appropriately. From pride to fury; from love to anger; from hurt to annoyance, motherhood keeps showing me its new faces every now and then (sometimes in the span of seconds!)
I think my first roller coaster ride of motherhood was the day I had to leave my first born at his play school for the first time. He was only two years and five months old and could hardly formulate full sentences. I was distraught even thought I had taught at the same school for five years and everyone including the domestic staff knew me inside out. I was also three months pregnant with my second son at the time (imagine the hormones!)
Not knowing what to do with those FORTY-FIVE KILLER minutes, I went to my mother’s place. And as soon as she opened the door of her apartment, I burst into tears. She just gaped at me not understanding why I was standing at her door bawling my eyes out and that too at nine in the morning! Through my sobs, I told her that the school management had asked me to leave Mohammad Ameen so that he could settle in school. My mother’s mouth dropped open in shock and I felt my tears slowing since I thought she finally understood my pain.
But then she turned around and walked away!
I was so shocked by her reaction that my tears stopped completely. I mean, HOW could my otherwise compassionate mother not understand the gravity of my emotions???
But in retrospect, I realise just how silly I was being at the time. I also realise how symbolic her turning her back to me was – she was trying to tell me that I would have to face much more serious and complex issues as a mother throughout my life. Since then I have gone through this rigorous exercise of helping my four children settle in pre-school and believe me, I am the happiest mom and usually the first one to have her child settled in class.
And now that they are all older (well, three of them at least), I look forward to the vacations and having some family time…for the first week that is! Everyone is happy and relaxed in the initial days with endless play station sessions for the boys (including hubby) and endless cleaning sprees for me!
And then come the days when everyone has just about had it with each other and it all comes down to wrestling, fist fights, shouting, complaining,
“He touched me here!”
“But he poked me there!”
And then this otherwise patient mother (that’s how I think of myself; my husband and sons might disagree!) can’t help but look forward to school days where sanity and discipline prevails and the house looks less like a jungle! Finally the boys return to school and I look around and hear nothing and see no one. I miss my boys then – their noise, their fights and their never-ending clutter. It is so quiet and frankly depressing.
See what I mean? A mother is never at peace!
Christian Grey may have had 50 shades in his personality but motherhood has shown me 100 shades of emotions! There have been moments where I have started off by scolding one or more of my children and ended up laughing hysterically with them.
I love to hate their fights and hate to love their noise.
The ups and down of motherhood are mercurial but over all this ride is the most thrilling one I have ever experienced in my life.
No rollercoaster can even come close!
What are some of your most memorable parenting moments? Tell us at [email protected]