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Mute Whatsapp mom group…forever!

Whatsapp mom group

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Mute Whatsapp mom group…forever!

Mute Whatsapp mom group…forever!

It began innocently enough…such a great way to keep in touch with your friends in the US – free messages to absolutely anyone on your contact list, the huge always-active across-the-globe family groups, the planning-special-occasions groups…

And then came the school groups…

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep (oh wait…the last few were just my head beeping!)

My hand involuntarily jabbed at my phone…“Mute Group!” (uhhh, isn’t there a ‘Forever’ option???)

Whatsapp mom group

And five minutes later – 600 messages!!!

Not only is my Whatsapp fast becoming as cluttered as my phone images gallery, individual messaging feels like an attack now! The icing on the cake, however, is the plethora of colourful characters a.k.a ‘Whatsapp moms’ that (over)populate the Whatsapp landscape:

  1. The Ridiculously Competitive Mom

“Hey what strategies have you moms employed to ensure that your child comes at least 1st in his/her pre-nursery peg-the-sock-to-the-rope race?”

  1. The Goo-goo Ga-ga Mom

“Ooh it’s dress-as-a-farm-animal-day! I’m going to go early and make ALL the kids stand in a line (half of which I’ve never even seen) and take several photos of them! They’re ALL SO CUTE! I’ll also do the same for silver day, golden day…”

  1. The One-Who-Reads-Nothing-But-Wants-To-Know-Everything

“Wow Moms 460 messages!!! What were you guys talking about???”

  1. The Over-Efficient Mom

“Hey Moms! We were supposed to send one cupcake for Spirit Week, I sent 24 wrapped in individual glow-in-the-dark imported ribbons and included a pack of biscuits with each!” (someone is clearly over-spirited!)

  1. The Think-Everything-to-Death Mom

Where are the kids going for their school trip tomorrow? Will they go in a bus or van? Will it be air-conditioned? Should we send Tang just in case it’s too hot? Do you think we can follow them…?”

Whew!

  1. The Unnecessary-Pics-Sharer

*shares picture of kid dressed in a costume*…

*shares picture of kid eating vegetables*…

*shares picture of kid’s vegetables*…

Whatsapp mom group

  1. The Over-Sharer

“Hey ladies! I have 99.8 fever with a sore throat and loose motions so I didn’t send my son to school today. Please share homework…”

  1. The Gloater

“Hey the (completely inconsequential) test marks are back! My daughter got a 9.9999999 out of 10, what did your kid get?”

  1. The Only-Uses-‘Cool’-Nicknames Mom

‘Oh my God! Zee-Q talks about ‘M’ and ‘Bambie’ all the time! You guys should TOTALLY come over!”

  1. The Panic-stricken Mom

“OH MY GOD it’s forecast to rain tomorrow! Will you send your kids? What if a drop falls on them during break-time? What if they step into a puddle?! The school should declare a holiday tomorrow!”

Whatsapp mom group

  1. The Condescending-Know-It-All Mom

“No dear, you should take out time from your full-time job and/or other equally important life commitments to meet random moms for breakfast because it’s developmentally fundamental for your child (in some undefined yet significantly important way)…but it’s ok if you can’t…we all try our best…”

  1. The Daadi-Amma

“Sigh, you know the world is moving towards minimalism and de-cluttering…” (while wholeheartedly discussing which cushions and candle-stands to buy from the Khaadi ‘Blessed Friday’ Sale!)

  1. The Hyper-judgemental Mom

In response to some poor soul asking for leads to get a cat or dog: “WHAT?!?!?! You’re just going to get ANY pet? You don’t care whether it’s a cat or a dog? Animals have feelings too you know, they require care!!!”

And then there are those moms who crib about other moms until that day when no one can be found discussing the next day’s activity to death on the group. And they realise that, for the third time in a row, they’ve sent their kid to school without his favourite fruit/vegetable/whatever for ‘show-and-tell’ Whatsapp mom group

So, you gotta love them all, right?

Which mom are you on the school WhatsApp group?

Three kids always on the go, always fabulous. A drama queen on the stage of every day, join in as I recount the experiences of our shared realities!

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Adnan

    January 18, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    So hilarious and true ! A nice read!

  2. Sana

    January 19, 2018 at 2:28 pm

    Hilarious!

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