I am sure many of you have experienced the deathly stare that parents give when you bring home a bad report card. And the extreme scolding when you try to hide it.
Well, frankly Dear parents, that’s not how I or all the students around the world wish to be treated. I do accept that at some point, a bad result is my fault. But bad treatment is not what I deserve. Did you ever pause to think that a slight change in your behavior might bring your desired results?
Maybe instead of behaving as if the world has ended and treating us like the worst criminal offenders, you could try and adopt these attitudes:
- Appreciate improvement
Instead of saying,
“Haw Haye, Math mein fail hogaye?” you could say,
“At least you scored well in English this time. We’ll work on Math in the next exam.”
(source : me.me)
An encouraging attitude would surely make us work harder.
- Warning before punishment
Yes, you probably need some level of strictness to push us to do better in the long run. But punishment is not a solution. Banning our mobiles, restricting our internet usage or pocket-money will not help. Maybe you can give us a warning before the actual punishment, or maybe you can give us a deadline by which to improve our results. If we fail to do so, then surely we should be punished.
- No comparisons
Please stop comparing our grades with others. Nothing in the world is more frustrating than your grades being compared to falaan Aunty ki falaan bhanjee. Everybody has their strengths and comparisons only increase hatred and jealousy. Instead, you should tell us that we are our own competitors and that we have to beat our previous scores to succeed in the long run.
- No grounding
Like I said earlier, no severe punishments! Being too hard on your children will only make them rebellious and your punishments will stop being effective. Don’t push us to the point where we say,
“Zyada se zyada kia karlein gay? Ghar se bahir nahi janay deingay? Maarein gay? Iss se zyada kuch nahi kersaktay.”
What will you gain from this attitude?
- Talk to us
Sit with us. Try to find out the problem. Maybe I did poorly in Chemistry because the teacher failed to define the concepts clearly or maybe it’s just a tough subject for me. Focus on two-way communication instead of barking orders at us. This will prevent us from lying and trying to hide the report card. And would make us comfortable in being honest with you about the problem. Then maybe, together we can find a solution.
- Help us out
Instead of criticizing, comparing and controlling, maybe you can try and teach us or employ tutors for extra assistance. Organizing group studies or relevant books may also help us.
- Bad report cards do not reflect a bad future
Report cards are NOT a measure of our intelligence, talent or personality. They cannot predict our success. Do I need to remind you of the successful people who were not-so-successful initially? Bill Gates was a college drop-out and Albert Einstein was rejected by his school. But the positive attitude of Einstein’s mother helped him overcome his ‘failures’ in school and made him the success as we know him today. So relax, and look at the bigger picture.
So dear parents, I really wish you would handle your children’s bad grades (if any) keeping all these things in mind because the way you handle a not-so-good report card can affect a child’s self-esteem and hence, future.
Your Becharey Bachchay